It is such a shame that people regard suicide as something to be ashamed of as it isn't. It's sad, very sad when a person can see no other option and feel it's best to end their journey. My Mum ended her life when I was 8yrs old and her family, brothers, sisters, Mother and Father treated the whole thing as a terrible stigma scenario and Mum was buried in an unmarked grave and the subject of June (Mum) was never spoken about again. These are very religeous people and Land owners gentry type and 'this' just couldn't happen. The cloud of shame hung over me because of it. I am Junes daughter,,,Um. I to this day (I'm now 51) can't ask anything about her or approach the subject. They act like startled rabbits when I attend a funeral which is the only time we meet as though I'm an uncomfortable unwanted memory who could dash their world into pieces just by asking an awkward question maybe. They send me birthday cards and X,Mas too and include me in their wills,,,,,,but I know none of them because of this stigma thing. There's no point to pretending it didn't happen,,,God knows doesn't he, the family knows don't they, but hey, lets pretend it didn't happen, lets not talk about it. Rediculous behavior by them and from my viewpoint very damaging. So although I understand your cousins desire to protect your Aunts reputation especially while in shock because it's always a shock to comprehend,,,he needed to share it with your dad who in turn needed to share it with you leaving you,,,where???? Needing,,,that's where. I agree with you that first tell your Dad that you wish for no secrets in your marraige and desperatly need to share this with your husband and I am certain he will view this differently although he may well need to tell your cousin first that he had to share it as do you now,,then this can go smoothly without any betraying of trusts. Heavy duty baggage all round sadly but unite and share and it will lighten. Sorry to you for your torment and the strain you must be enduring and newly married too,,when without this you would be joyously happy. I really hope that you can nip this in the bud,,like now.
Much respect to you over this and Good Luck with it all and I hope I havn't over stepped the mark by being so clear in my mind as to what you need. I wish you every happiness