Well this is my first post on here. A friend recommended this for me. I'm not to sure where to start so here we go.

I'm pretty young (22) and I've noticed that I suffer depression and many other problems more then most people. I have a lot of trust issues due to an ex girlfriend who cheated on me 7 times with multiple partners. I'm currently in a relationship that's going sour due to my actions and words. We've been dating almost two years now. Our two year anniversary is next month. I haven't worked since I met the girl. I've had a few odd and end jobs but none have lasted longer then 3 months. I'm really selfconcious about a lot of things. I used to weigh 325lbs. and I lost a lot of it. I weigh 200lbs. now but everytime I look in the mirror I find something else about my self that I'm disgusted with. I suffer from ADHD and find a lot of normal things hard to do or cope with. My girlfriend has gained some weight since we started dating and she's also selfconcious about her body. We have some issues with our sexual relationship. We used to have sex 2-3 times a day everyday and now we'd be lucky if we have sex maybe once or twice a month. She's the only girl I've even fallen in love with. Idk why but for some reason I bring up her past way more then I should. I ask personal questions like how many people she's been with, what she's done, etc. etc. I know this has put a strain on our relationship and love life. A couple of months back I had a handfull of girls send me naked pictures which were saved in my email. She has trust issues too and was going through my email and found them. Since then she said she fell out of love with me and she has zero trust in me. I know what I did was wrong but I honestly don't know why I did what I did. She's trying to get close to me but whenever I'm happy I bring up the past again or I'll bring up the lack of sex. Everytime she tries to get close I push her away again. I've been so depressed lately that I've been slightly suicidal. I know I want to stay with her but everytime things are getting better I always find a way to screw them up again. Just recently we started this job together at a local haunted attraction. I only applied for the job so that I could buy her an anniversary present and give her the rest of the money for my bills. Her parents forbid me to see her because I got in trouble with the law. This happened around 6 months of us dating and she's been lying to her parents so she could come see me. She's really busy with her job, college, and the now seasonal job. I usually only get to see her tue, fri, and sat. Well tonight my boss called and fired me. For what reason I have no clue. But at the job there's a guy that flirts with her. She told him she has a boyfriend yet he still continues. I often get upset/mad with her for talking to him because of jealousy and fear of losing her. On top of that I'm too over-protective of her. I don't want her to be friends with guys because I feel as though she'll find someone else. The job at the haunted attraction only lasted 5 days for me and now I'm at an all time low. I'm trying to change for the better because she's a really good girl. I love her to death but I can't keep treating her like crap. I told her that she deserves to be treated better and that I'd understand if she wanted to part ways. Well she doesn't want to leave me and I don't want to leave her. I just really need some help. I appologize for jumping around with my story. It may come off as confusing. But I need some opinions. I don't know what to do or how to change.