That was my first post- and wow- thanks for responding...I may feel maddened, but at least I am not alone.

I think for me, part of my problem, as starlite*111 grazed upon is that as a child, I slept on defense- I was always waiting for when my dad came home- and it was terrible what happened when he did, but it was worse being woken to it.
I never thought about it, but maybe still I sleep defensively.
I am 34 years old now, but even though I am married, I have to sleep in my own room, and lock the door pretty much every night. So I guess I never felt safe, even to this day.
While there is no danger anymore, maybe my brain just doesn't know any better..

I have tried things like sominex, and ambian etc- but even when it did put me to sleep, it was like being under anesthia if that makes any sense---it was like....being aware, but numb. Not restful at all- and hazy..like being in a tub that is too warm, but unable to really move out of it-

Rohag, I appreciate the direction to the other forum- I will defiantely check it out.

I don't expect to ever lay down at sleep ten hours a night like some people do- but I would like to have some expectations of the ability to control when I can shut down instead of literally feeling like I am ready to collapse. It always feels very unpredictable and frustrating, being tired and just unable to sleep and give my brain a break.

Thank you to everyone who posted..