Thanks FP....

It's my turn to ride things out...
Ya know, it does not get any easier no matter how many times someone does it.
I'm never prepared for the intensity of my feelings. No one ever is...no one. jmo

Typing the words, "I feel betrayed" does not hint at the feelings behind the wall that has gone up again.
Sitting here weeping just a bit.
Just a bit.
I am falling back on the very familiar, "I will not let 'em see me cry."
It worked going through the childhood trauma, my time in Nam, and the other things.

It's going to...it's got to get me through this, too.
It's got to, dammit.

Catherine

well this stinks...just seeing those words in writing, out in the open
I'm going to shut down the computer so I can shut down my feelings or else I'm gonna lose it