Quote:
Originally Posted by Rohag
Googley, you were there, I wasn't. You know yourself and have first-person impressions -- those are more valuable than speculations. In any event, the burden is on your pdoc to win your trust.
Wishing you the absolute very best!  |
I was thinking about it. And sometimes I don't know if I should trust my first person impressions. Sometimes I'm sure, but this time I'm not. And in a way he is right, when I was applying for school it was a thought that if I didn't get in then I could just kill myself. But when I actually didn't get in I didn't feel like I was actually going to do it. It didn't seem like a realistic solution so I applied again the next year. So in this way it seems like control. But when I get really really depressed and ended up in the hospital it definitely didn't feel like a control thing. It was more out of desperation and that I hurt so bad I didn't want to go on. I felt like everyone would be better without me. I asked for help and got it, but it did not feel like control. Instead I felt very out of control. I think I had the feeling that he was just assuming that if it was a control issue that I could just make it go away and not come back. Does he think this makes my life easier? That I wouldn't make them go away and not come back if I could? So I guess I see it on two different continuum and felt that he just wanted to put it all together. I have the feelings that I recognize as being able to push me towards the edge, and then these others that just go about their merry way and are annoying.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah
Googley, control is a big thing. People who have mental and emotional issues grew up with no sense of control and many still don't have it. One step in getting better is to gain a healthy sense of control in life and healthy is the key word here. I think that helping professionals see this issue all the time and I think that old school is to try to control the clients. This NEVER works! Power struggles will ensue. Helping someone to get better includes empowering them so that they can get better. It never should include power over them. Getting this issue settled in your own mind is very important and you are more than capable of doing that. It is a personal journey that we all need to take.........
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He was an older gentleman. I think that I feel stuck because he is the only person I can afford to see. I feel like I only have limited control over my life. I need more education even after what I am getting now and the only way to get into phd programs is to get accepted (which to some extent is totally up to other people). I have been able to do some things, but others just feel out of reach. I don't know. I just feel like some times it will never work out. Like I try so hard and no one cares about that. All they see is any little failure and use it to say I'm not good enough. They don't seem to care how much effort I put in. Ok, that became a little bit of a rant.