Just to say that it happens to me too NOT to be able to "just don't listen". I always take it very personally, even for small offenses. And I groom about "I should have done/said". Just to relate...
May I say something? Don't trust blindly about what you see or read in ther eyes... when one is upset and angry perception may be unreliable.
Just a would-be wise opinion from one who is not able to be wise.

Good luck