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I read and reread your post a couple of times. I'm not sure if you two live or lived together (but her father wouldn't let her see you?) or what your living arrangements are. First, you do have trust issues. Your previous relationship should have been over at least by the second episode of cheating at the latest. It would make sense to forgive after one but after the second, it's adios, mi amiga. This made you suspicious of women in general. Once the newness of your current relationship wore off, you started a push-pull maneuver in the intimacy areas.
Your depression and suicidal ideations are a red flag that you need to be evaluated by a psychiatrist. Have you ever consulted with a professional before? Please consider doing this. You would also benefit from counseling. If money is an issue, I would contact your community mental health agency and they will make you an appointment with a phychologist on a sliding scale basis and then you will be evaluated for medication purposes. Please don't let this simply "ride". It is not wise to ignore these symptoms. Relationship issues are a common cause of depression. Also, please go the route I suggested. Regular family doctors don't know enough about phychotropic drugs to prescribe them accurately.
If you have more questions, please post. There are many kind and knowledgable people here who care.
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 Vickie
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