I don't usually post on this board - mostly on the psychotherapy board - but I figured this particular post didn't belong there.

Today, I officially became divorced from my husband of nearly 15 years.

Because of my ex-husband's (wow, it feels soooo uncomfortable saying EX - ugh) erratic and unpredictable behavior, and his inability to stay civil for long, my therapist has been stressing to me that I have to limit my contact with him - only to issues relating to visitation.

It's only been in the last week or so that I have stayed firm on this boundary.

Well, I just found out tonight from a neighbor of mine the whole story about an incident that occured a few months prior to our separation. Basically, my ex-husband was subtly hitting on her. I knew that, but we chalked it up to some medication issues because he was acting extremely erratic during that particular period - and he was doing things that were quite abnormal. It seemed like a little bit crossing the line of flirting....

Now that we are officially divorced, my neighbor felt compelled to tell me the entire story. My ex actually bought a kinky outfit and showed it to her - saying that he bought it for her to wear for him, and that they would need to plan it. OMG!!!! I CANNOT believe he did that, and I am SOOOO upset about it!

Of course, now I'm divorced and it shouldn't even be of concern - but I SO BADLY want HIM to KNOW that I KNOW.....

All of these months, he's been lashing out at me....then trying to get me to sleep with him....then telling me how much he loves me....trying to get me to stop the divorce from happening....then making threats...back and forth with the craziness....and now I learn THIS??!?!?!??!

I am just SO ANGRY and UPSET......

But then, there's my therapist in the back of my mind saying NO contact with him. And, of course, the fact that we are divorced makes it a moot point.

UGH. What should I do?

I guess I should bring it up with my therapist...but I won't be able to see him until next Thursday....except during group therapy on Tuesday. I guess I can bite my tongue that long to get feedback from him.

AAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!