Thank you everyone for you replies! I really appreciate all the support and advice! I think I will look in to free therapy (if there is such a thing here) or at least geared to low income therapy. I think I would really benefit from it and gain a lot more self esteem that would help me to start feeling comfortable dating again. One thing I did not mention (and I am not sure if this is why I have a hard time with relationships) is that when I was about 20 or so, my uncle started becoming obsessed with me and stalked me to the point where I had to get a restraining order. I still have nightmares to this day (8 years later) and have a hard time trusting men. Maybe deep down, I don't realize when I date guys that, that incident has impacted me so much that it has given me trust issues and causes me to back away when things start to become serious.

Thanks again to everyone who replied.. it's so nice to get support from others who understand and support one another!