I had to confront rape in my 4th step also. I coudn't find my part. For me, I invited a guy over to the place I was housesitting because he was 21 and could by alcohol. Alcohol was my part in WHY HE WAS THERE, but the rape was not my fault. In the 5th step, we need to look at our part in the circumstances that may have led up to an event. Even if the event itself was something we had absolutely no part in, we probably played a part in the events leading up to it. My motives for inviting the guy over were completely wrong. He had broken up with me because I wouldn't sleep with him. I had no reason to even call, except I wanted to drink. That is the very beginning stages of my alcoholism. That being said, I know that I had no part in the actual event of rape, and that is a resentment I simply have to let go of, turn over, give to my higher power. I'm still not there yet. I still think of him and get the chills. I have not forgiven him, but I know someday I will. Also, with every resentment, I see a lesson. For me, there is a "red flag" now, when it comes to being alone with a man. What are my motives? Do I trust him? What does my gut say? Yes, it is awful that it happened, and it has caused me serious issues, those issues being the reason I came here. But luckily I've learned from the experience. Wow, just in discussing this here, I have seen more then I did not 2 minutes ago. I've taught myself something here. Resentments can teach us valuable lessons on how to handle situations in the future. By working the 5th step on our 4th step, we can see patterns and signals that will trigger us in the future to do the next right thing. My sponser tried getting me to see that, and I thought it I did, but not clearly until typing it here. Thanks guys!

~Rayna