I had a really horrible day yesterday. I posted the jist of it in the Psychosis and Schitz forum. It probably didnt belong there but the intensity of my feelings I thought best to post it there at the time.

I had a severe anxiety attack yesterday at my T's office. Very scary. I had lots of feelings before, during and after this attack that has left me pondering several things. Such as a "safe" place. I made a post in general about certain things that make me feel safe so if and when another attack happens I can refer to it for comfort.

Ever since yesterday, I feel like I have taken a step backwards in my therapy. I really thought that I was getting along well and doing everything that I am supposed to be doing. I am feeling a little let down by yesterday. Maybe its me being hard on myself but it is how I feel.

I was sent a PM last night that made me think a little bit about how my life has changed these last few months and how these changes have effected my life.

I was dx'd with Depression, Panic Disorder and OCD

I took 3 months of med leave from my job

I quit my job after several years

I have sold my home

I am moving from Virginia to Texas

I am buying a new home

I have been in contact with my x husband for the first time in 7 years.

These are just the major things I can think of that has occured in the last few months. I guess that maybe I have ignored my anxiety regarding these changes and all that has built up.

I am sitting here as we speak thinking about and analysing (sp) my feelings from the incident yesterday. How I can avoid the next one, warning signs to llok for, creating other outlets for my anxiety so it doesnt build up, just various things.

Another stress and worry is my mother. She is very ill. She has been bed ridden. Her throat is so swollen that the opening is the size of a straw. She was unable to take her anti-biotics orally so they had to give her an injection. I worry about my mother so much. She is severely over weight, works to hard, and runs a household with a husband and 2 teenage children. She smokes. She runs back and forth taking my little brother and sister to different activities and such. She lost her mother and brother last year and I just worry so much about her.

As someone mentioned earlier to me, when it rains it pours and that is how I am feeling right now.

To top things off my T is on vacation until the week after next. I called her today and checked in with her but she never called me back . I met her boss yesterday and I am supposed to check in with her next week but I dont even know her so that makes me feel uncomfortable.

I am sorry if it seems that I am whining. I just needed to get all this off my chest. Thank you for listening.