This is why I'm selective about men. Some of them can be such pigs! Sorry to bad-mouth your beau, but it sounds like he could be one of them. How the hell is he trying to claim you as his girlfriend and he's not willing to acknowledge your pain and help you cope with it?? He's your boyfriend, that's what he's there for! He's supposed to be your shelter from the storm. If he can't understand that and help you weather it...I hate to say this honey, but you're with the wrong man. You're too good for him.

Unfortunately, he isn't alone in wanting to push pain to the side and ignore it. You're hurting, and instead of helping ease some of it he wants you to pretend everything is fine. Make him feel good and trot through life like little miss sunshine. Did I get that right?

Also, you're better than me 'cause I'd have gotten in his face about what you read in his chats. Yes he'd be upset, but he should understand why you're upset! He's talking to his ex-girlfriend! I'm not really the jealous type, but when he's pissed off at you and he's going to his ex for refuge that wouldn't sit well with me.

If you explain to him your trust issues, he's got a choice based on how he feels; does he love you and care about you enough to try to help you work through them? Will he make an effort to gain your trust for good? If you're not important enough to him, so be it. He can go back to his ex-gf or find someone else who's willing to shove it all under the rug.

It really annoys me when I hear about these people who aren't willing to console their significant others when they're in pain. This is part of the reason I tend to be cynical about men and relationships. I'm not willing to settle for an a-hole like that (again, no offense ) who ignores my pain 'cause he doesn't wanna deal with it. It's in you, it's there and you only add to it when you ignore it.

Also unfortunate is the fact that I've never been in a relationship so I can't really give you advice from experience, only theory. If he's taking his own hurt to his ex, why is there any desire for you? Certainly if he's making you feel worthless there's a problem. First off, you are not worthless. Secondly, if your man can't help you see that he's not worthy of you!

It sounds like he might be needing some affection himself (hence, him calling you selfish) and when you don't give it, he gets annoyed. Maybe you can shelter each other from the storm! If you talk to each other about your hurting, maybe you can each find refuge in each other. Just a thought

Good luck with your bf! Hope everything works out okay. Feel better soon!