I am sure i made things sound a lot worse than they actually are cuz of the negative mindset i am in now. My bf has been more affectionate than i have been. I feel badly about that, but i am having a tough time showing affection in my state of mind. I just feel like i want to isolate myself and i know that isn't good for me. I am just tired of causing so many problems. I don't want to frustrate him anymore or make him angry with me cuz he thinks i mean something that i don't mean at all. I do think he has been feeling down himself, but i am bad at knowing what to say when he talks to me about his problems. I do think i need to listen more and show support more. I have been just focusing on my problems lately, but i did not mean to shut him out. I just focus too much on my own issues, but they are so overwhelming that i feel like i can't take on much more so i understand how I can seem insensitive.

I definitely don't want to let him know about me seeing his chats with his ex. That is an invasion of privacy and it wasn't right of me to do that. I just want to know that i can trust him. I am sure in his mind, he didn't feel he was doing anything wrong by talking to his ex about how he was feeling. I can see how she was there for him more than i was at the time so it makes sense. He hasn't had as many relationships as I have and his last relationship was mostly long distance over a long period of time.