Quote:
Originally Posted by PlanningtoLive
Yesterday was my birthday and when I spoke to my parents, they told me that my brother out in Colorado had passed away on the 9th. We have all been estranged for the last 12 years or so, mostly on the fault of my brother who sexually abused my niece and numerous other things.
My problem is realizing that the person I loved as a child is gone. As an adult, he was horrible, but the child is what I remember. Any suggestions on how to grieve, how to deal with these thoughts? I am having problems sleeping now, with flashbacks.
Thank you.
Mary Alice
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My belief is that everything is wiped clean when we die. However, in the case of a person who has abused your niece, you don't necessarily have to forgive.
I also think your adult brother was a different person from your child brother, so perhaps your grieving began when you found out that he was abusing your niece, and now that he has died you are simply experiencing the rememberance of that grief.