I just wanted to say, "I hear you", and lots of folks here at PC hear you too. I just wonder if sometimes when we talk to our friends or family, it isn't that they don't hear us, maybe it because they don't understand or know what to say.. ... just a thought, as i try to remember back when i reached out for help. I just remember i sort of had it together, but when i fell apart, i've not been put back together right. lol.....Friends will say, "your just not right" .. in a loving way tho.. I am also the kind that laughs at my own pain, and make jokes out of it... but anyway just wanted to send you safe hugs and to let you know this is a pretty good support place... (((((((((sleeps))))))))))