   Hi, Melinda84. Everyone here seems to have given you comments from just about every perspective on the situation - well rounded. I have only a couple of things to add. First, why should it be a problem for you to know who your BF talks to and about what? Does he know who you talk to and about what? I don't know if you are currently seeing a T, but if you and your BF are having difficulty really talking about both of your personal and shared issues, perhaps you could get the ball rolling by seeing a T or counselor together - get an objective third party in there to help draw each of you out and to help each of you understand the other's point of view. You're going to have difficulty focusing on anything to improve your depression if you are not in an environment where you feel "safe" to express yourself - and the same holds true for your BF - he has to feel "safe" to share all of his feelings with you without recriminations. As long as you are both holding things back instead of getting them out in the open so that you can deal with it all together, there is only going to be increasing stress, tension, and distancing. The success of any close relationship is measured by the extent to which each person feels free to be themselves; as history dictates, oppression breeds rebellion. Hope y'all can find a way to work things out soon for both of your sakes.
__________________
"I walked a mile with Pleasure; she chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me!"
(Robert Browning Hamilton; "Along The Road")
|