Lynn,

What has my knickers in a knot among other things as you are aware of is the fact that this person wrote me a very nice reference letter this summer. And we met at Starbucks for coffee (what else?) and she told me that she thought I was very intelligent and I wasn't seeking out compliments or attention seeking. We were just having a friendly conversation.

I need her reference letter in order to get a job in childcare. My paid working experiences weren't positive and I am certain that my previous employers wouldn't give me a positive reference.

I have thought this over and this is what I am thinking. If she didn't want me to use her reference letter she would let me know asap because her reputation is on the line everytime I use the reference letter she wrote for me.