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lynn09 · Oct 16, 2009, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zen888

Lynn,

What has my knickers in a knot among other things as you are aware of is the fact that this person wrote me a very nice reference letter this summer. And we met at Starbucks for coffee (what else?) and she told me that she thought I was very intelligent and I wasn't seeking out compliments or attention seeking. We were just having a friendly conversation.

I need her reference letter in order to get a job in childcare. My paid working experiences weren't positive and I am certain that my previous employers wouldn't give me a positive reference.

I have thought this over and this is what I am thinking. If she didn't want me to use her reference letter she would let me know asap because her reputation is on the line everytime I use the reference letter she wrote for me.

I just HATE when stuff like this happens - you're kind of left hanging in limbo which feeds into any little insecurities we have creeping around inside. Of course, she would never have given you the reference letter to use if she didn't think highly of you - but then why not say something about the flowers or at least respond to your e-mail?? Weird.

But - like I said - in this case, I would wait about a week after you sent the first e-mail, then send another e-mail asking how she is and if she received the flowers, then put at least a one-month time limit on the new e-mail.

Perhaps she is still out of town having a really long Thanksgiving holiday with her family, or is having family problems, or is out of town for a wedding, or a death in the family or ????

Too soon and too little information to make any kind of assumptions or draw any conclusions at this point. This is one of those times when you have to extend her the benefit of the doubt and just wait and see what happens, I guess.