Hi marjan!

I am happy to share with you how I began to find my "happiness". Maybe it will help give you some ideas on where to start.

One of the most important things to me was to find a way to give of myself to others. I felt that I was way to self absorbed and needed to break free of that. It wasn't that I didn't care about others, that's exactly why I decided to volunteer my time.

Once I decided I wanted to volunteer, I had to figure out exactly what kind of volunteer work I wanted to do. There are so many organizations out there that need volunteers. I have a lot of different abilities that I could bring to any organization.

I wrote a list of places I thought I might be interested in volunteering at. I proceeded to call them and ask what kind of work they had for their volunteers and if they were in need of any more. From there, I decided what I would be happy doing and what I wouldn't be too happy doing.

So I was able to narrow it done a lot by doing that. It finally came down to the fact that I wanted to be very proactive in something. I didn't want to stuff envelopes or do office work or clean bathrooms LOL. I decided on becoming a CASA/GAL. Stands for Court Appointed Special Advocate/Guardian Ad Litem for abused and neglected children.

As difficult as it was to imagine these wonderful babies and children being hurt and injured and neglected, it was such an awesome job to do for them. What I did was to make sure the child had everything it needed. I would interview parents, schools, get info from doctors/hospitals, shop for clothing if needed, food etc. I would then have to compile a court report as my job was to be a voice for the child in court when charges were brought against the parents.

I absolutely loved doing this volunteer job. How it warmed my heart, took me out of my shell (I had to speak in court ) and it definitely took me out of being self absorbed!!!

When I was really wanting to make changes in my life I knew it had to start within me. Sounds like you are figuring that out as well. I also made a list of things I wanted to work on for myself. I took one thing at a time and as I was successful at it, I crossed it off my list. In this way I was not so overwhelmed with everything I wanted to do and I didn't try to do everything all at one time (which is impossible). I made some really good improvements in myself and I'm so thankful I did. This is how I became comfortable with myself, I learned to like and love myself and I found out I didn't NEED anyone to fulfill me, I could do it myself.

I hope you can find your way through this. Take the time you need and deserve to make your changes. These things don't happen overnight. I'm sure you will do just fine!

Be well!