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Old Oct 17, 2009, 02:04 PM
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Member Since: Jan 2007
Location: U.S.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by farmergirl View Post
He's "threatenen" me with termination a couple of times, but I called him on it immediately. He explained to me that he really didn't mean for me to feel threatened. He was trying to get me to see that if I choose not to do was he says I need to do, why am I bothering to come to sessions?
I really disagree with this approach to therapy. I do not think the therapist should be telling the client what to do. I believe the client should guide therapy and at the very least, therapy should be a team effort. If my T tried to tell me what to do, I might boot him out the door (whoops, wait, it's his office). On my first day of therapy, my T told me, "only you know what you need to heal." I have take that to heart and been our guide. My T doesn't know what I need--he's not a mind reader. I need to tell him and he helps. One time my T did try telling me what to do and it was something I was not ready for at all. I asked him why do you want me to say and do this thing? It would be a lie if I said this like you want me to. Do you want me to lie? He backed down pretty quick and said I wasn't ready for this yet and no, he didn't want me to lie. I will not do something that is inauthentic or a lie or is not right for me just because the T says so. Fortunately, most of the suggestions my T has (and my last T too) are in line with my own beliefs, so I have not had this conflict often.

ktgirl, you had such a good discussion with your T. You didn't let her comment about termination push you away but discussed it in a very respectful and adult way and got new clarity. That is worthy of gold stars on so many levels! I wonder if she will be on board with you working on other issues until you are ready to work on the ED? I think you gave her some good food for thought. Maybe you will return to this discussion again and she will be ready to give you an answer.
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Thanks for this!
darkrunner, Sannah