Every time I tell my t something really bad and he doesn't freak out, I feel even more safe with him. Like there really is nothing that I can say that he can't handle. I have had other t's and you see them getting all agitated or riled up when you tell them things they don't want to hear. The security that comes from my t just accepting whatever I say with perfect calm and moving on from there - it means everything to me. It makes me want to trust him with other real things in the future. With the t's that freak out, I just don't tell them anything that I think will upset them....and that means I don't get to talk about what I really want and need to.

But no - I didn't know I could trust him (or any t right away). I just test and test and test them with more and more to see how they handle things - and then I adjust accordingly, depending on how safe they are.