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Originally Posted by ~Blossom~
I can remember that feeling BlueMoon described when I was very young. But I think I projected it onto my pets. For example, I had parakeets since I was about 8ish....I'd watch them in their cage, and try to make friends with them. I would cry because they seemed so sad and alone..I'd get to the point where I'd feel so tormented thinking of their pain, I'd set them free in the summer. But I think the pain was in me. I don't know how I know this.
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Blossom- I think it adds to the discussion. Something we all can relate to. I cant believe you mentioned about pets. I felt so sad for my turtles. All alone and moving so slowly. I also cried at them, too. And now my boys have lizards. I thought the lizard looked "lonely" so I got another one. And these two creatures actually have fun in there. And I feel better! They sleep holding claws. I didnt want the one lizard to feel alone.
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After reading this thread, I'm confused. I can't identify or remember my feelings, anything besides the pets. Having an abusive childhood, and neglected - to the point I felt like an adult since I can remember, I must have some abandonment or rejection issues, but I can't connect them to my current state. How do you have the awareness of abandonment and/or rejection feelings? What brought out your awareness? I feel insightful in that I can identify some of my current dysfunctions with my past, but it's all thought/intellectual. When my Tdoc asks me about feelings, mostly I cannot describe them or even find them. Is it that they are so repressed, that I can't access them?
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I think what brought about my awareness was reading about borderline personality disorder. And talking to my t about it. She made me more aware, too. I so related to everything I read and then I became more aware of the way I respond to the world around me instead of just having the feelings and supressing them. I became more mindful of what I am doing and feeling in any given moment, as opposed to being on auto-pilot most of the time.
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Deli-I don't want to hijack your thread....but I'm having a hard time with identifying my emotions, and this seems like an appropriate place to ask (Deli-if you don't want me to post this here, I'll delete it). However, maybe in some way it will add to the discussion.
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I would say to try to be mindful as often as you can of what is going on with you feeling-wise. In each moment, with each interaction. Name some possibilites to yourself. Happy, sad, disappointed, angry, hurt, afraid...