I liked my T right from the start, but it took a LONG time for me to really, truly trust him. My history of abuse is just too far-reaching and all-encompassing for me to feel very safe with ANYONE very quickly.

From the start, T was so careful with me. He wouldn't even walk across the room for a receipt without warning me first that he was going to move. I liked that he looked out for me in those kinds of ways.

I probably STARTED to feel a little safe after our first rupture, a few months into therapy. The way he handled it - listening to me, hearing me, owning his part in it without being defensive, apologizing - made me realize that he wasn't the sort of person who used to abuse me.

I've been with him for two years, and I really, truly do trust him now. It was a gradual process, and there were lots and lots and lots of moments of trusting him followed by complete distrust. A lot of push/pull, a lot of running towards/running away.

In two years, he has shown me in more ways than I can list here that he cares for me, that he would never intentionally hurt me, that he can love me and have good boundaries at the same time, that he is really *with* me, that he genuinely wants the best for me. It would have been nice if I could have felt safe sooner, but I had to EXPERIENCE being safe before I would really believe it. So, it took as long as it took.

How long have you been with T, polarsmom??