MUE, I really relate. Sometimes having the adult responsibilities--specially the finances--is entirely too much to bear. Especially when they snowball one after the other. I have had some recent financial setbacks, too, where I find myself doing things I never thought I would (like avoid calls from creditors). It's extra stress on top of the tornadoes whirling inside.
Be gentle with yourself. You were pushed to your limit, and you coped the best you could. And you regret it, and want to find a different way next time. Have compassion for your misstep.