*******trigger warning!!!!!********

I hope this doesn't go against forum rules as this isn't a suicidal post, rather my thoughts on the symptoms of depression that could lead to it, and I'm glad you brought it up jacq because I wonder about these things myself and I think it's as important a symptom to talk about as any other, but I'm glad you put the trigger and I'm adding one to my post just in case.

I'm not an expert but I think that the difference with "normal" people's thoughts of suicide and/or self-harm comes down to frequency and degree. At some point we probably all think about it in terms of our own mortality, because we realize that we're not going to live forever and our minds go over possible scenarios -- whether self-inflicted or not -- that might result in death. The other thing too is that suicide statistics or articles on mental health are published quite frequently, and it might lead someone to wonder whether they'd be capable of having such thoughts and then carrying them out.

Depression can be identified when someone has these kinds of thoughts to a great degree, ie they are preoccupied by thoughts of death/dying or suicide. It's one of the things you get asked routinely in the course of therapy/diagnosis (or if it isn't, it's definitely something I got asked a lot). In a lot of cases they might come up with a plan or a particular scenario that goes round their minds. Suicide can be seen as a form of relief/escape from the feelings of sadness/despair that depression invokes, which is when those thoughts become dangerous.

I also think it's important to remember that depression does NOT equal suicidal thoughts/ideation, and that the taboo society places on suicide actually leads to a lot of the stigma related to depression/mental health. I'm sure there are a LOT of people on this forum who are depressed but who aren't suicidal. But we generally tend to hear about the cases of depression that did lead to self-harm, and it frightens people because it overrides our most basic survival instincts. It makes a lot of people look mortality in the eye and I think it makes them uncomfortable. It made me incredibly uncomfortable to talk about when I actually was suicidal because I was afraid that people would instantly think I was a "nut job" or in need of immediate hospitalization. But I think it does need to be talked about, openly, both to remove some of the stigma attached to depression and to show that suicidal people need to be taken seriously, need to be helped, and should not be ostracised but rather comforted and cared for in what can often be the most miserable/terrifying period of their life.