I am not sure which board to post this on but I think it fits here. I am seeing a new t and I am going to talk to her on monday about what my fears are doing trauma work. I have a lot of questions for her. But while I was reading some responses on another board about questions I can ask her I realized something really big that keeps me from going deeper. I havent ever put it into words, but I want to typw it out here.

I know when we go into the deeper feelings and trauma work that my t is talking about I will dissoc. I will go pretty quickly and it is very hard for me to stay present. So, when/if I do I am afraid of what I might say or do, or that I might be silent and I might not remember what happened. I want her to tell me everything I said or did. I am afraid I will say/do something really stupid. I dont know this t so well. My last t wasnt that nice about things I didnt remember in session. I tried to cover it up and say I did this or that for this or that reason when the truth is, I didnt recall what happened. Even if it was only a brief thing. I want this new t to tell me everything. I want to know what she will do and if I seem different to her. I am really scared that this will happen. I know at some point it will no matter how I try to pull myself to stay present. I hope this makes some sense.