My trust in my therapist is different for different things and it varies a little over time, too. It took a while for me to get to know him and I thought that getting to know him was something about my being able to predict how he would likely respond (ie kindly) and then coming to have some trust / expectation that he would respond that way to some disclosures that were hard for me.

I guess I mostly trust him with disclosures that are hard... Though disclosures about how I feel about him are much much harder. Not sure how much I trust him with those yet. I guess I come to trust him as I take little risks and he responds kindly. Or even if he kind of misses the mark I can kind of tell that he is trying and that kind of means something.

Sometimes I feel disconnected from my therapist because I've withdrawn because... I'm detaching myself from something about myself (some thought or feeling or something) that is hard and so I've kind of gone numb... Losing myself... Losing my connection with him. Sometimes it helps me feel more connected to him to think to myself 'what would be the hardest true thing for me to say to him right now???' and then... To try and bring myself to say it.

It is hard to know when to bail and when to persist... Basically... If you are able to bring yourself to talk about stuff that is hard for you and for you to feel some connection / comfort from that then... I think it probably is worth persisting...

Yes. I feel distant at times. There are times when I don't feel connected. There are times when I really feel that I don't trust him at all. In fact... I finally... Trusted him enough to tell him so last session. Sigh.