Just want to chime in to say how much I agree with this.

My T has *suggested* things I could try instead of using bad coping skills, or having bad boundaries with my mom, or whatever...but he has NEVER even kind of IMPLIED "you HAVE to do this thing"

A few months into therapy I was really struggling with sui thoughts. T talked to me on the phone for a long time, and at one point, he gently said "I don't want this to sound like a threat, because it's not, but if you attempt sui and end up in the hospital, I won't be able to work with you while you're in the hospital - that is their rule, not mine". And I asked him, when I got out of the hospital, could I still be your client? And he said, SO definitively, "Absolutely, without a doubt, NO question". I felt so so so so so much more safe knowing that no matter what stupid decision I made, T would still be there for me, and would still be willing to work with me.

My T's approach is like Sunny's T...he believes that I know what I need to heal. He takes that very seriously.

Interesting thread!