(((((((((((((((((((((((blue))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

i am so sorry - no wonder you think life is crap - you had enough of it in your time - its not fair an its not right when adults dont love you the right way - when the very people who should protect you harm you - it makes me so angry

are you in a safe place now? Im sorry Blue, im so sorry about all thats happened and im so sorry about your brother..... life isnt fair somtimes...
hell a whole lot of the time in your case grrrrr!

I have had body memories - when my T said just let them come - i thought you have got to be frikkin mad grrr - do you have any idea how they feel adn i hated them and they scared me and they made me feel sick ...... and i fought them and tried to stop them but it didint work - so i gave T's thing a try - what the heck my way wasnt working...

I cant say it was nice - it wasnt - it was nasty - but .... after a long time.. what seemed like forever ... they have calmed down a bit and i cna bear them now - most of the time lol well 85% of the time - which is HUGE for me....

an as starlite said - now i try to say get away and send them on their way - somtimes it actually works - yay!!!

I cant feel what youve felt - i didnt go through what you did - all i can do is tell you i care and im here sitting with you if you want me to

take care P7 (hugs if ok)

p.s., oh and about T's - i had 3 I think beofre i found this one - they were not the right fit - the one i have now is great - even though i still cant say the words he gets what i mean - there are a lot of crap T's out there - but there are also a lot of good ones and you can be helped - it just needs to be the right T - sorry to have rambled on so much P7

pss - oops - wiht the nightmares - what i do is turn on the light - remind myself that its the past - that i lived through it and this is a memory so no matter how bad it feels i survived it once so i can do again...... if im stil scared i get up and read a book or atch TV and sleep wiht the light on