Deli, I feel this way, too!

T sometimes asks me if I was afraid he would abandon me. I always say no, because I figure I don't need him anyway, I am fine all on my own. 'Abandon' to me means excessive dependence (that's my worst fear, to be dependent on him, on anyone). So he reframes it as I'm afraid hell reject me. Yes, definitely--I am afraid he will say I'm stupid, a whiner, etc.

I like polarsmom's differentiation between the two relating to the connection you have with the person. I think that might be very true, though it's hard for me to admit it.