Hi Blue I'm so sorry that you had to go through all that you have and I'm sorry that you are reliving these awful things in your nightmares!!!
You should not have been treated the way that you were especially by those who were supposed to love and protect you!!!
I too have aful nightmares that i struggle to deal with and I know how difficult it can be!! My goes out to you and I want you to know that you are not alone and that there are loads of ppl here that are willing to be there for you!!!
And as Phoenix7 said you have survived it once you can do it again, we all can especially with the support of others on PC.
Please take care and know that I am always here if you need!!!