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Go see a lawyer as soon as possible. At the same time ask her if she wants to go to marriage counseling. Cut off her cash flow, only give her money that is mandated by the courts. Start living your own life, take care of yourself and don't worry about her. She sounds like she is very capable of taking care of herself one way or another. When you start taking care of yourself and standing up for yourself she just might have a whole new appreciation for you, and if not, you are still doing the right thing. Your wife is acting with a complete lack of respect for you.
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