Sigh...
I know I haven't been around for few months, but I've been unable to focus enough under my current distress to really even turn the computer on in between my internet access blackouts. Anyway, I missed you guys.

My entire life has been uprooted and destroyed. I lost just about everything I have, and now that I've been betrayed by someone I loved and placed my trust in, the legal system is now abusing me too. I've lost all my money, my place, and any sense of direction that I might have had. Temporarily I'm staying with my dysfunctional mother's house until I can get back together. I wish the legal stuff wasn't hanging over my head, but it is and is just another barrier preventing me from truly moving on until it is over. She hasn't changed much. I notice I still fear the clanging of the dishes when I'm in my room... not too unlike my childhood. Her explosive anger resulted in her throwing an empty milk carton yesterday, pissed off that there wasn't enough (in her eyes) for her cereal. Nevermind that the reason the milk was low is due to her neglecting the shopping needs.

I owe thousands of dollars. I also have to file a bunch of paperwork for my financial aid for college to go through--a petition essentially for my dropping the ball during the last few months that I've had these serious issues. Now, I don't know if I can return to school. I have no job now either, and I am about to lose my health insurance. I cannot afford to extend it. That means that I can't see my T anymore for awhile until I get another job in the town I live in now.

This is great. Living with Mom again... Oh, the joys! (sarcasm). Seriously BROKE as can be, having no choice but to live with my seriously unsupportive mother or be homeless... no job, a legal problem, and alas--I discovered that I have no real friends during this episode as well. Just when I need my T the most, he won't be available anymore. I haven't had a chance to discuss this with him, as I just found out over the weekend how soon my insurance ends. Oh yeah, did I mention that my ex has the car? I can't even get around when I want to, stuck here with my emotionally abusive mother and a load of serious personal problems...

I don't know what I should do next. Thoughts?