What are the laws governing a contested divorce? I know here in Wisconsin it's nearly impossible to get a divorce when one person does not want it.

At the risk of being a wet blanket, it's really not all that complicated, either he wants a divorce or he doesn't. If he wants a divorce he needs to be proactive, contact a lawyer and start the proceedings. There's very little you can do in this situation except ask him what he really wants to do.

I'm so sorry that you're stuck in the middle of his unfinished business. My first instinct is to say that he's just not ready to deal with the finality (is that a word) of the divorce. That doesn't necessarily mean he's not committed to you, it may be an indication that he's a bit immature.

A lifetime ago I made a lot of mistakes, when my husband and I seperated I started seeing the first person that made me laugh. Things went entirely too fast, I really didn't know the person I was dealing with. He moved in and had to go to these "appointments". He was very difficult to get up in the mornings and one day I just wasn't going to do battle with him, I was working nights and came home from work, tried to wake him up and when he didn't get up I went to sleep myself. Several hours later the phone woke me up, it was his "ex" wife screaming to me about him not showing up for their marriage councelling appointment that day.

I have no idea what she thought our relationship was, but I didn't even know that the two of them were still even talking (no kids) they split up long before I knew him (I thought).

The reason I shared that story is because at the time I made a lot of excuses for his strange behavior. I trusted what he told me as truth, and it turns out he wasn't being completely honest with me. To me, it sounds like they BOTH want to keep their cake and eat it too. As Michele said, look out for yourself first. He needs to deal with his own messes. In my case it wasn't that this man wanted to remain in his marriage, it was just a clear indication of things to come, that he just didn't want to deal with adult decisions (he was 30 at the time).