I can't say that I feel entirely safe, even after 2 yrs.

I don;t hold things back from her because of it, but I am well aware that there are things I have told her at which she fell silent; at which she gasped; for which she looked as if I'd socked her in the gut; for which she looked at me very severely.

One thing I even got up my courage to refer to later, saying that it was awful, and she said only, "that was awful" (yes I know it was, but I was hoping for some other response from her of all people).

What can I say, she is very genuine and I guess I shouldn';t be surprised that she could be daunted at the sight of so much rot and corruption. So if I still look for her to run screaming some time, well it doesn't seem all that unreasonable.
i bet she wishes she had a different client. The thing is, I want to be different too - that's why I keep coming.