This month I have entered my 5th year in my relationship with T and I still think about the following things:
What's the point?
This hurts too much.
I need him too much.
What a waste.
This will someday end.
I used to say these things all the time because, as I felt it, the pain was outweighing the benefits. It is not that way anymore. I can tell you that as therapy progresses, the anxieties, dependency, and pain doesn't necessarily go away or disappear-- but it changes-- and you learn soooo much from it-- I did.
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"The only people for me are the mad ones. The ones who are mad to love, mad to talk, mad to be saved; the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow Roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars." -- Jack Kerouac
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