I never feel unsafe with my T. Trust comes on many levels, so I guess it depends on what you mean when you say "safe" or "trust". I would say it depends on my level of comfort. If I don't feel comfortable with a subject, I go at my own pace. Some topics I've only touched on, and others I've never breached at all. When I feel comfortable or like taking what I consider an emotional risk, I'll open up about a subject.

I've been with my T now for... 3 years in November. I have to say I think there is a difference in LIKING someone, and trusting them to help you and give you advice with your painful emotions. I would have to say that in my opinion, it appears that a person would have to LIKE their therapist and find common ground with them in order to trust them with deeper and deeper layers of your inner self. I don't think it's like a light switch really. I think the mistake a lot of people make is that they don't get a chance to know if they LIKE their therapist, as a lot of mental health professionals ask very sensitive and pointed questions. Some even do it on the first visit without bothering to be sensitive (or unknowingly aren't sensitive enough). The comfort level and the trust with the T on the subject/problem is extremely important, and it doesn't mean you aren't a good match or that you are somehow "failing" therapy if you can't open up on it quite yet.

I always liked my T, right from the beginning, even though I was and still tend to be a bit guarded with revealing information. I've observed that my T has a constant modus operandi that appears to be that he always checks himself to make sure that he isn't bringing in his stress and discomfort (over either what I am saying or even something he brought with him from home) to ensure that he isn't allowing that to interfere with quality therapy. In my experience (and I've had terrible ones with various mental health professionals), I REALLY got lucky with my T. I have to say though that if I didn't take that leap of faith and touch on the bare minimum of what was disturbing me and what brought me there on day one, then I might have never known that he was really quite sensitive and good at his job.

I have had some "ah-ha!" moments though, I guess mini-breakthroughs of a sort, where I felt super comfortable and in sync with my T. Once, earlier in our therapy relationship, it was over a college soccer match that we had unknowingly both watched just before session. It turns out that he liked soccer too, and had watched the same game. It was awesome because we talked about how exciting the game was, and I saw him as a human with a full range of emotions. It was sorta like bonding through similar experiences, thoughts, and feelings.

Maybe your T likes soccer . Nothing ventured, nothing gained, but don't be hard on yourself if you feel as though you are doing badly because you don't open up on demand. Trust and comfort takes time.