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Old Oct 19, 2009, 06:15 PM
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theotterone theotterone is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2009
Posts: 369
I wasn't sure if this should go here, or in the relationship forum, but since it deals with my marriage and the sexual aspect of it, I decided it may be most appropriate here...

I have been on anti-depressants over half my life. Right now I am on the worst one for killing sexual desire/drive, Paxil CR. I am also on cholesteral lowering medication, which can have the same effect.

D has been very patient with my lack of drive (as evidenced by us having two daughters). The problem I am having is not only the lack of drive, but the lack of emotional connection to D.

He made it clear to me earlier today that he is in need of sexual attention and would like that to happen tonight. I told him while I may not be able to do "everything" (we were emailing, and our locations at the time did not lend to being explicit, but he understood I meant sex between us) I would be happy to "help him out" and give him sexual attention tonight.

It's not like I am dreading it like a test or paying my taxes. It's just, since I feel I can not be emotionally connected or vulnerable with D (the risk to me is just too great), I have no desire to have sex with him. As bad as it sounds, I would rather masterbate if I really got the urge. (No emotional risk to me and that is a BIG IF, it really doesn't happen for me).

Have I gotten that cold and frigid? Is it just the trust issue? I realize that when it comes to sexual relationships, (WARNING! GENERAL STATEMENT AHEAD!) men typically want/need sex to feel emotionally close and women want/need to feel emotionally close in order to want sex.

I guess I am just feeling bad about how I feel about the whole thing...
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