Thanks, everyone....

I am a bit numb today, and I have an excruciating headache. I look a mess and am still on the verge of tears. I had an awful night's sleep, so I will be taking yet another day off. (NOT good because my boss hates me and I've already taken WAY too much time off for one reason or another....But I need it.)

I was a crying mess at T, for the first time. We talked about all the things leading up to my meltdown....and I didn't know where the feelings were coming from.

By the middle of the session, he asked me how Friday was...and that's when I got into the discussion about learning about what my ex tried to do with my neighbor. He pointed out that my ex was unfaithful in a strange kind of way; it was a betrayal. And even though we are not married, it happened when we were married and is a betrayal even now.

It didn't dawn on me that it was THAT that was underlying issue that caused my breakdown. The freezer issue was just the catalyst. And the anger I feel....and the lack of support in real life...and how it relates to my dad.....

And then about how I feel as though I need to be comforted but have no one to turn to....I have family and friends, but I don't seem to go to them.

I wish I could say I felt better after the session. He was so glad that I went in to see him. He says that I am feeling the way he would expect me to feel, after all this.

I spent the rest of the day and night crying.

Funny, all this time, I kept hearing T saying "NO CONTACT" with my husband - (ugh - EX husband) - yet he feels that I need to confront him about this. I told him that I didn't predict him saying that. He said that the anger needs a place to go - and I've spent way too much time burying feelings. So, we need to make a choice - and the choice, for my health, is to confront him. I'm not quite sure how I plan to do that.

Thanks for all of your support. It means the world to me.