Tryingtobeme, looking over your posts for the past several months I see a caring, loving individual who repeatedly extends comfort to others despite her own pain. The world contains too few such people.
I am aware that my words are powerless against the emotions beating down your spirit. All I can really do is stand with the others here who recognize your struggle and shout our affirmation:
Tryingtobeme is worthy! Tryingtobeme is one of us!
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My dog

mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.