Quote:
Originally Posted by almostDr.Muffin
she was saying (and i think i agree) that you cannot abandon an adult, for the very reason you stated. you are self-reliant at that point, no need to be dependent on another.
i think when people talk about abandoment issues, they are talking about the (perceived or actual) abandonment they experienced at a point where it WAS abandonment, when they were children. the feelings of not being good enough or somehow defective are the same ones they feel as adults when they are rejected. so, yes they have abandonment issues, but no they are not being abandoned as adults....its just that the feelings that arise now are so similar to the ones back then.
i apologize if someone has already said all or part of this...i havent read the other responses yet!
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I think a person can be abandoned as an adult, well at least i feel i've been abandoned by 2 very good friends as an adult. They 'abandoned' me because they literally disappeared with no contact or care despite years of loyalty and friendship. There was no vicious rejection or bust up about how much they hated me or any reason behind it all(!), they simply were there one day and not the next. I think to expand on my previous post it is a bit like the difference between hate and apathy, when a person rejects someone at least they care enough to be horrid but when a person abandons someone that person becomes obsolete, meaningless and almost ceases to exist. Sometimes if i worry someone i care about is going to walk away from me i'll try to hurt them so that they reject me, because that is easier to deal with. At least if they hate me they feel something for me, i'm still in their psyche, i'm still important to them (in some twisted way).
Words to explain words causes limitation don't you think?!