I used to push and push to validate the snapshot memories of bad things I experienced. I hurt myself a lot doing it and began to quit and finally I realized that part of the "programming" was to set me up in mental things that bug me and I can't ever resolve the "mental itch".

I always had a few bad memories that I called "red flag" memories and they never changed. Many times I've had thoughts that I wasn't sure if it was real or suggested bad memory. It helped when my T got me to understand that it doesn't "matter" if it is absolutely 'real' or if it is part real and part a dream or some other source for the info. Whether or not it is a LITERAL memory the solutions for me are the same. I need relief and healing in my mind/heart and I do have more than enough clear memories AND living problems/pains/mental anguish to verify that I was treated badly as a powerless infant onward.

There is no #1 absolute amount of memory that shows how hurt a person is. There are many ways that a person knows "something is wrong". For me it was a really big deal to "trust" myself that all these problems, feelings and the mental pain are as real as they need to be for me to deserve help and healing.

Sorry if I got repetitive. I spent literal years agonizing over these issues and finally realizing I do NOT need to "justify" my life or my needs or my reality TO ANYONE ANYMORE. (can you sense my intensity ?)