I don't know that it's either good or bad. It just is what it is? You're very brave to look into information, I think.

When I was diagnosed, I spent years denying it and then I spent years avoiding any information that had to do with it. It was so triggering for me to read anything that had to do with DID or any dissociation disorder. I only got information from my T because I got so triggered by stuff, and I was also afraid that if I searched out information, I might take it on as my own stuff, even if it wasn't the case for me. I didn't want to add anything that wasn't there to begin with.

It was good in some ways to rely only on T for information. I was able to receive accurate information without trying to weed through things, not knowing what was true or not. It also helped T to know exactly what was going on for me because I wasn't influenced by things I read. On the down side, it's taken longer for me to move forward (though I tend to be a tiny steps forward kind of person as so much is so triggering for me). Sometimes I think if I was braver, I could find information that might help me heal faster and that would be nice.

Hopefully you will find a T soon so that you can get tested and find out what's going on for you. Hang in there Manda.