I understand and relate to feeling validated by a diagnosis. I relate to the BPD diagnosis too. It feels like it fits, and like it explains something important about me. On the other hand, labels or diagnoses can keep us from realizing the rest of who we are, and can keep us stuck sometimes if we relate to it too much.

Marsha Linehan recognized the need for balance between validation strategies and change strategies. Especially for people with BPD (although we're not so different from others who also have dysregulated emotions), when T refuses to give a dx, or to acknowledge where we are, or when T expects us to be something else, we can become distressed. It doesn't feel right. We don't know that we can change. We don't know who we would be if we weren't borderline. It feels threatening. (Not necessarily these same feelings for everyone, but you get the idea). At the same time, when we are called borderline or someone notices that we are stuck or that we have problems, that can be a problem too. We might even give up and become hopeless and stop trying. It's a dilemma, but with the right balance, we can be who we are and still be getting better.