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Bruce. · Oct 21, 2009 at 11:46 AM

I pretty much summed my the way I'm feeling when I wrote this in Kudos.

Autumn skies are settling in over the Canadian countryside. The deep green forests of summer have begun their annual transformation into fiery displays of yellows golds and reds. Soon the pastel leaves of autumn will fall to the forest floors leaving a veil of barren branches to shroud the hillsides. The trees are going to sleep. The insects are gone, the migratory birds are leaving by the day. The forests grow silent, the empty cold of winter lay ahead.
It's a bitter sweet time for me, a time for reminiscence. Haunting memories of times gone by, and friends and family lost to eternity. A dear friendship lost through misunderstanding.
The cool damp air penetrates your being, but the wind from the north is so fresh it stimulates your mind, reality becomes stark. The scenery is gorgeous and sunny skies at midday warm you through to your heart, but the cold empty feelings of loss are a large vessel to fill. There's no planning for the future today, just settle in and wait for the feelings to pass.
Here we are, most of us, dreaming and struggling to find a new a beginning, helping each other along, trying to grow. But this time of year for me is all about endings.

It didn't use to be this way, Autumn used to be inspirational, a time when the air cleared, summer distractions gone, time to get to work, feeling industrious. But it ain't like that no more.

Been playing an old track over and over in my head, helps a bit. A little reminder that better days are ahead.

The Dream
(Moody Blues)

When the white eagle of the north is flying overhead
The browns, reds and golds of autumn lie in the gutter, dead.
Remember then, that summer birds with wings of fire flaying
Come to witness springs new hope, born of leaves decaying.
Just as new life will come from death, love will come at leisure.
Love of love, love of life and giving without measure
Gives in return a wonderous yearn of a promise almost seen.
Live hand-in-hand and together we'll stand on the threshold of a dream.

Hope we're all feeling better soon