Lexicon,

Everyone that deals with grief says that each person has their own way of grieving & their own time. My Mother died 6 months ago & I still haven't gotten through the trauma from the ID theft & threats, along with her OD on morphine that the home care RN did when my Mother insisted on being in her own home. I can hardly remember that period of time & having been in the hospital myself from exhaustion & malnutrition at the time of my Mothers death, makes her death is like looking at a black hole.

I know it may be strange, but is some ways it is good that you can feel that broken heart. Feeling nothing is a very scary feeling....wondering what is wrong with me & why I haven't felt any of those feelings that seem to be normal feelings for those who have lost their Mother. It is hard seeing your Mother die...I went through that too without any support until the end when I was the person telling her that it was ok to die & not suffer any more.

The pain will end when the time is right. The first year is the hardest one to go through because of all the memories. Everything you have done....talking, writing, don't make the pain go away. According to my psychologist, those things bring back the memories into the current thinking....they are good & necessary to think of.....your pain will go on until you are ready for it to be put into its place....& memories will always be with you. It all happens in your own time & what you require to deal with your memories. As time passes the pain will fade & you will become better at handling your memories.

Your time will come when it starts to fade,
Debbie