i'm not going to be around as much
need to step back a bit and work on keeping safe.
terrible dark depression had hit and i'm on the floor right now--
guess the good news is the only way to go is up--at least
i tell myself that because the other way is down under......

i really hate this b'cuz i have no clue why i'm being slammed so hard..
T says she thinks a storm is brewing---i think i am in the middle of one.....
why don't T's understand that sometimes all the tools in the tool box are locked up and can't be used right now? Safety isn't just a physical thing it is also emotional......and where she sees something waiting to be discovered i see a meltdown coming and fear of being swept away and crushed......
ah the logical mind laughs and says no way......but long pushed away emotions are bubbling like home made root beer ready to pop thier corks and explode.....
haven't been this depressed for a long long time.....

sorry, you have so much on your plate and i feel like i just dumped but i did want you to know i am stepping back, not reading as much here (will check for PM's but not much on the forums....)

will check in with you to see how you're doing.