phoenix,
when my alts do something puzzling i "talk to my head". i tell them what is happening and how i feel about it and ask them for help or answers. can't say i always get them, but my T assures me that internal communication is super-important and is worth any effort to establish more info shared by others.
i had a 4 day thing where my family still hasn't told me what all i did and said and no one inside has told me what happened. they thought i'd gone back to the bad old days when i used to be addicted to pain killers and my husband even accused me of misusing my meds and i made him count them. never mind all my stuff - the point is that it does happen to all of us who dissociate and if you don't acted freaked out then others will not either.
when you can talk to the system of alts inside please warn them about putting stuff out online or emails because once things are out there they can never be totally gone again.
hang in there, it will improve