OK, OK!!! I wish my parents would live forever! They're wonderful and I love them and they love me and we're a happily family.

Should have known that wishing one's parents dead was too taboo for any forum. Story of my life: open up, be honest, and then shut the hell up when everyone freaks out.

I shouldn't have said I wished them DEAD when I actually wish them GONE. Again. I habor no fantasies of them suffering or dying painfully. I WOULD feel horribly guilty if they were to suffer. That wasn't what I was trying to convey.

And, yes, I have cut off contact with them, for years at a time. Then I start to miss them (I'm a sentimental guy and will come to miss anyone at some point) and call them (there's my codependency). And I have moved away. I live in San Francisco, they live in Louisianna.

You would think I posted a thread saying "I wish my kittens would die" or something.

My parents have become elderly Right Wing "hatriots" (hateful 'patriots') who seem to long for "undeserving" people (i.e., people like me) to disappear. They have this conservative social Darwinist philosophy of 'survival of the fittest and to hell with the 'weak' (and guess who turned out to be weak?). I try NOT to to discuss current events and issues with them, but they are conservative, political people. And what are we going to talk about? How loving and close we've always been? Right.

I wish there was a place to discuss controversial emotional issues without having to worry about shocking and offending others. Frankly, I'm tired of toning my "truth" down in concern for the armies of the overly sensitive and fragile people.

EVERYONE DIES. This is the natural order of things. I fail to see how wishing for the inevitable is so terrible. Again, I DO NOT WISH THAT THEY SUFFER OR EXPERIENCE PAIN. I am NOT motivated by REVENGE for them. I don't want to kill them, or have them killed by anyone else. I don't want their health to suffer. If I did, trust me, I'd say so.

And they were abusive to me, physically/mentally/emotionally. But I know that they did the best they could with me. And I was a difficult child (my issues, I'll admit, started way back). But they were terribly abusive. But there's no point in talking about that.

So forget what I said. May all parents live eternally, because they obviously all love and cherish their children. I was just being selfish, immature, and ungrateful.

OK?!