There already exists a world where they have no control over you. It is in your mind. You are way too old (not that you are old, lol) to care about what your parents think. I pretty much quit doing that in high school.

You have to accept that you are in charge now. Not them. So, do what you need to, but only in the positive. Focus on the positive.

You are focusing on the negative by wishing they'd die, because as you already know and others have pointed out, that doesn't solve the problem and may add guilt, which is not productive.

We have to accept that we have no control (or very little at least) over other people, but, we do over ourselves (we try anyway). One of my favorite sayings is, if you can't change your circumstances,(which we usually can't) change your attitude. And, that is the hard part, right?

It is hard, but no harm in trying. Have a great day, and I hope you re-think this...I know you don't really mean that. A~